Seating and Escort
At a formal dinner, seating carries real meaning. The guest of honour sits to the host's right, the next most important guest to the left.
When escorting a lady in a restaurant, the gentleman enters first and leads the way to the table. Drawing out her chair is an important courtesy.
The Correct Use of Cutlery
How one handles cutlery is an important mark of dignity. The basic rules are simple: use the outermost pieces first, following the order of the courses; hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right, resting a finger lightly along each.
During a pause, place the knife and fork in an inverted 'V'; when the meal is finished, lay them together at the four-o'clock position.
Beautiful dining follows from a few habits: cut food to a single bite, eat quietly without sound, keep an upright and graceful posture, and never speak with food in the mouth.
Wine and Glassware
Wine manners are especially important at a formal dinner, calling for care from the way a glass is held to the manner of a toast.
Always hold a wine glass by the stem, never touching the bowl, both to keep the wine at temperature and to leave no fingerprints on the glass. Meet the other's eyes at a toast, savour slowly in good measure, and keep a graceful restraint.
Conversation and Timing
Conversation during a meal shapes the whole atmosphere, so choose topics well and time them to the pace of the dining.
Fitting subjects include culture and the arts, travel, the season, food and wine, and shared interests. Best avoided are politics, religion, private money matters, illness or misfortune, and criticism of others.
Cultural Differences
As the world grows closer, we more often dine with people of different cultural backgrounds. Understand the basic manners, and also show care for the other's culture.
As Butler Bell advises, the essence of table manners is consideration for others; remembering flawless form matters, but seeing that everyone at the table is at ease matters most. Natural yet dignified, that is true table manners.